An Open Letter to the Hurting

Hello friend,

I know right now, nothing seems to be going right in your life at all. I know right now, you’re holding back tears and trying to smile your way through the day. I know you’re trying to take it a day at a time, trying to work with what you have. I know right now, it may feel like you don’t have anything. But that’s why I’m here.

I know I can’t snap my fingers and fix everything for you. I’d love that, yes. I’d do that in a heartbeat. And although I can’t do that, I can use the most powerful tool I have to help you. That is, my voice. So, here goes something that I want not only you to read, but everyone.

Dearest friend, you may feel like you don’t have anyone. You may feel like you’re alone in this. I promise you, you’re never alone. I will always listen to you no matter what you have to say. I will always be here for you no matter what. I won’t ever judge you. I will help you in any way you need- all you have to do is ask. And don’t worry- you’ll never be an inconvenience. Time doesn’t matter. Topic doesn’t matter. I’m always here. Someone is always here for you.

Things like “but this isn’t so bad, so many people have it much worse” may cross your mind. And you know, it may be true that people have had ‘worse’ experiences, but that doesn’t define how you have to react. Your emotions are and always will be valid. You are human, and you are allowed to feel. Cry. Scream. Write. Blog. Post angry tweets. Run. Play video games. Talk to me, or someone else. Please, do what you need to feel. But, please be careful. Don’t hurt yourself or someone else when you do what you need to. I care about you, and I never want to see you hurt.

I promise that you are worth it. I promise that you are good enough. If you’re waiting for a sign, this is it. You’re beautiful, my friend. You’re unique and nobody else will ever be like you. Nobody else has ever been like you. Your hobbies, your strengths, even your weaknesses, they make you who you are. Your smile can brighten up a dark day.

I know right now, everything seems like it’s tearing you apart. I know everything you thought you had figured out just faded before your eyes. But stop for a second. Close your eyes and think to yourself: “I got this far and I will conquer the world. Even if it’s not today, I will. Nothing will stop me”.

It’s true. Not only does “conquer” mean to defeat, to rise to the top, it also means to overcome. You, my friend, will show the world who’s boss. You will overcome this world, and teach it that it messed with the wrong person. You may conquer the world by going to work and making the best custard ever or having a great idea for the network. You may conquer the world by getting up in the morning and finding the motivation to keep going. You will conquer the world every day for the rest of your life, and your life is just beginning. Don’t stress over “maybe”s or “one day”s. Look to the future and see yourself smiling. Because you’re there, I promise. The future wants you in it.

I care. I always have cared and  I always will care. Maybe we don’t know how to deal with it, but we can get through it. I know it hurts like hell right now, but if it’s going to hurt like hell, there’s nothing better than to hurt like hell together, with a friend. Your heart may be broken right now; it may feel like it’s in 1,000 pieces that you have to pick up off the ground one by one, but I’m here to help you pick them up. You’ll never be alone.

I hope that somehow these words find you, and that somehow these words help you. I’m always here for you.

“Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win”

-E. ♥

“Where words fail, music speaks.”

Thanks for that quote, Hans Christian Andersen.

Often times when you first meet someone, you try to find things you have in common with them. One of the first things that pops into my mind is music. Music, in my opinion, is a huge part of what makes us who we are as human beings. In this post, I’ll be talking a little bit about my music taste. Fair warning though, it’s all over the place. There’s no one genre I stick to. Without further ado, let’s begin! Song titles will be in blue.

What song am I listening to right at this moment? I Wouldn’t Mind by He is We.

What are my top ten played songs according to iTunes?

  1. The Schuyler Sisters by the Hamilton Original Broadway Cast
  2. Tonight by Seether
  3. Work from Home by Fifth Harmony
  4. Cruisin’ California by The Offspring
  5. The Nightcore version of Haven’t Had Enough by Mariana’s Trench
  6. Stupid For You by Waterparks (Happy birthday, Awsten!)
  7. Satisfied from the Hamilton Mixtape
  8. Fire Water Burn” by The Bloodhound Gang
  9. You’re Welcome” by Dwayne Johnson, from “Moana”
  10. Team” by Krewella

What is my top skipped song according to iTunes? Turning Into You” by The Offspring.

I found a questionnaire about music online, and I’ll be answering some of the questions from it now. It’s kinda cool, and it made me think.

  1. What do you think music is? I think music is a form of art, through which humans can communicate. Instrumental music, to me, is one of the most basic forms of this communication. I sang a song in choir once and a line stated “music is a universal language, freely spoken by one and all”. That always stuck with me.
  2. How often do you usually listen to music? I listen to music every day, there’s barely a day I don’t. Most nights I have my iPod playing music through the entire night.
  3. When you want to listen to music you use… My iPod Classic! It has 160GB of storage, and it’s about the only piece of Apple technology I tolerate. There’s 1,236 songs on it currently. Other than that, I also use YouTube.
  4. Where do you prefer listening to music? In my room, right now. When I drive, I play music as well. I love listening to music while I drive.
  5. Have you ever been to a concert? Yes! I have seen Courage My Love, All Time Low, A Day To Remember, and Blink-182.
  6. What is your favorite musical instrument? Trumpet or cornet.
  7. Do you play any musical instrument? If yes, which one? Heck yeah. I play trumpet, cornet, euphonium, trombone, tuba, and a little ukulele and flute.
  8. Can you express your feelings with music? If so, how? Absolutely. There’s music for everything. I don’t know why I do it, but when I’m sad I listen to sad music. My go-to sad song isLittle Do You Know by Alex & Sierra. There’s happy music. There’s music to get you energized. There’s honestly music for everything. It’s up to the person to decide what they listen to, when.
  9. Is there a song that’s special to you? There’s a couple. If It Means a Lot To You by A Day To Remember is one of them. It was the first song ever introduced to me by the band, and I used to sing it all the time as a middle school student. Starboy” by the Weeknd is another. This is because when I was in Ohio in December, any time Michelle and I would go somewhere, it was on the radio. We’d send each other messages whenever it came on the radio. It became our song. Chandelier” by Sia is another one I’ll mention. I’ll just leave it at “2015 OHWG Encampment girls’ barracks” as to why it’s special. Lastly, the Christmas song Greensleeves.
  10. Is there a particular song you don’t like? It’s not necessarily… not liking… but the song Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol just upsets me. I can’t listen to it. I used to hate Aerosmith’s Janie’s Got a Gun, but it’s now a song that I like to listen to.
  11. What song would you recommend to someone in a tough situation? I’d recommend Never Too Late by Three Days Grace and Rise Above This by Seether. Possibly Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus depending on the person and situation.

Alright. I think that’s enough for tonight. I should try to sleep. Here’s a quick January goal update: Goal 2; eat healthier, has been achieved. So has Goal 6; keep my email organized. It’s a decent start.

I’ll leave off with another quote-

“Music touches us emotionally, where words alone can’t.” ― Johnny Depp

Peace out, girl scouts. That’s the end of this JAMboree. (Ha?)

~E. 

2017 Goals, Part Uno.

Well, here we are. We are approaching the end of the first week of 2017.

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2017. MMXVII. Twothousandseventeen. 2k17. There’s plenty of ways to refer to the year of the rooster. However, we can all agree on one thing. It’s new, and it’s here for 365 days.

Some people make “New Year’s Resolutions”. Some people believe in the philosophy of “New Year, New Me”. Personally, I’m not a fan of any of those things. To those of you who do, good luck, you can do it, you’re great.

For me: I’m going to try something new. Goal setting!

Okay, okay, so maybe it’s kind of like a new year’s resolution. But, there’s a catch. Goals can be made at any time. Goals can be long term and short term.

I’ll be posting my monthly goals and updates from the past month in the first week of every month.In the last week of 2017, I’ll be summarizing. But- we’ll get there. One day, one week, one month at a time.

I’ll start my goals with my 2017 goals. Here we go.

My Goals for 2017

  1. Love myself and be happy. Do things because they’ll make me happy.
  2. Go to college and study where and what I want.
  3. Achieve at least C/Lt Col in the Civil Air Patrol
  4. Learn to stay calm and manage emotions, as well as being able to express these to others. (This one may not make sense to you as the reader, but it does to me. I’ve already started working on it!)
  5. Learn something new. Whether this is learning a new language, something about computers, anything.
  6. Make money. Save money. (Already working on the saving money! #AdventureFund)
  7. Stay hydrated. All year.
  8. Read my whole James Patterson series.
  9. Travel.
  10. Write more. (Whether this is blogging, letters, cards, journaling, it’s going to happen!)

Some of these are bigger than others. But to me, they all matter. I’ll post occasional updates here as to how those goals are going. (I swear I had a water bottle around here somewhere…)

Alright. Monthly goals. I’m not making a set number for these, it’ll change depending on the month. Here we go.

My Goals for January 2017

  1. Find a routine. A schedule. A purpose. Normalize my sleep.
  2. Eat healthier.
  3. Walk/bike more. I won’t put running, because I know myself too well for that and I likely won’t run in January. But- if I get in the habit of going for a walk, who knows what February will hold!
  4. Clean up my room and hang up my framed belongings.
  5. Find a job.
  6. Keep my email organized.
  7. Learn to drive in the Netherlands.
  8. Become comfortable interacting with other people in Dutch.
  9. Wear clothes because I like them, not because I want to fit in. (Honestly, I think I can add a scarf to ANYTHING and I’ll fit in…)
  10. Overcome my hatred for odd numbered lists. (Okay, this one won’t really happen. But, it’s a pleasant thought)

Allllrighty. I’m going to go finish my NCIS episode (Canary). Apparently it also snowed. Intriguing. Enjoy a picture my mom just sent of the snow!15909691_978465505587476_1454366300_n I’m half impressed that it does actually snow here.

It’s a little bit late, but guys, have a happy new year.

 

Talk Less. Smile More.

~E.♥